living in the past

do you ever feel,
like your wasting your life away,
waiting for the past,
to come back,

every moment is fake,
every smile,
every laugh,
its easy enough to fake,

when you died inside so long ago,
everything feels so old,
nothing can bring back that rush,
the way you made me feel,

you are all i'll ever see,
im so blind to everything,
im never gonna be the same,
you were everything to me,

if only you knew,
just how bad this hurts,
cause its never stopped hurting,
since the moement i said goodbye,

i'll forever regret letting you go,
i'll waste the rest of my life,
watching you be happy,
but i'll always be here,
if you ever change your mind.

A letter to god

dear god,
if you can hear me now,
if you can see me now,
help me,

cause i'm stumbling and i'm falling,
i feel weak and i'm breaking down,
the tears won't stop,
and i'm so lost,

my heart aches ever day,
for everything i can't take back,
i need you now more than ever,
dear god if you can hear me,

know that i'm sorry,
i'm no where near perfect,
but i'm still trying every day,
even though i just keep falling,

dear god,
will you help me now?
even though i'm not worthy?
i need to know you still care,

if you do,
steady me,
cause i'm so weak,
i can barely stand,

don't give up on me,
cause somehow through all my mistakes,
i've still got some faith left,
i still beleive there's something more,

god if you can hear me now,
know this is my letter to you.

just a day longer

i'm gonna fake another smile,
just a day longer,
hopin that tomorrow,
i'll have something to smile for,

after so long,
it's not possible to fake it another day,
but i'll do it again & again,
no matter how bad it hurts,

i've gotta believe,
there's something for me out there,
to make me truly happy,
i shouldn't have to fake every day,

cause i don't want anybody to see,
how bad you truly hurt me,
i don't know why it's you,
i would drop everything,

just for you,
i don't care how hard it gets,
i'm willing to try again & again,
till everythings is right.

fallin so fast

the sadness in your eyes,
makes me wish,
this pain was mine,
knowin it's cause of me,

no one else,
can see the pain,
you hide so well,
masked behind,

fake smiles and laughter,
you pretend you don't know,
but you know so well,
how fast your fallin,

and you can't hold,
all the pain in,
so take a look,
and decide,

if you can make it,
the rest of your life,
knowin you never tried,
to let anyone in,

and heal the pain,
you've cut so deep.

take my hand

take my hand,
i'll show you how,
hold on tight & never let go,
cause i'll always be her,

whether i'm near or far,
im always in your heart,
in your memories,
forever watching over you,

hoping you'll remember who you are,
if i could've stayed a moment longer,
i would've told you,
everything i've ever learned,

hoping you'd learn from my mistakes,
but i know you'll need to learn for yourself,
make your own mistakes,
& become all your meant to be,

take my hand,
remember me,
i'm always in your memories,
take my hand & i'll lead you the best i can

Moments

all of the moments come & go,
but there are so few,
you actually remember,
you learn quickly,

nothing good ever lasts,
& you have to move on,
with the life you've been given,
try to find a reason,

for why your here,
at this time,
with these people,
finding your way leads you along,

so many different paths,
but in the end,
your the one who decides,
where you end up,

no one can control,
the way you live this life.

just another day

Ever since I could pick up a pencil and write I've been writing poems... or at least thats what they look like. I love writing and seeing words come together. Alot of the times what I write isn't about me at all. I'm a quiet person for the most part and I hate talking in front of people and I have a hard time expressing my feelings. But my poems are how I get everything out... ha that or dancing. So the reason I'm starting a blog is because I want to share my poems and see what everyone thinks about them!